From Mom's heart

November 25th, 2017

I did not cry

As this Thanksgiving season rapidly comes to an end I am reminded of all the things in life I am thankful for.

At the very top is the God I serve. He has showed up and showed out in my life and throughout this season we are going through.

Thanksgiving Day promised to be a day of sadness because Bryan Stewartwasn’t here with us. But God had something different in mind. We celebrated, we ate, we talked about life, we visited Bryan and I even called Daniel Bryan one time. 

But I did not cry. 

Thank you Heavenly Father for once again for showing up and holding us up. We love you.

 

December 16th, 2017

You never know when something will become priceless. Thanks for sharing this picture with Bryan Stewart

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INSERT PHOTO:  BLFC CHRISTMAS ON THE TROLLY (5 YEAR MEMORY)

 

December 23rd, 2017 (my birthday)

Today we celebrate the birth of Oscar Stewart

Happy birthday to a man that has gained so much this last year, but yet has lost so much in the same year.

Through it all you have continued to be the awesome man of God that the Lord already knew you would be on this day.

Through it all you never stopped serving, giving and loving your family and others

Through it all you have been a true example of what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus

Through it all you have been a blessing to those around you

Through it all you are blessed

Through it all your obedience in instilling the word of God unto your children Jennifer Stephens, Bryan Stewart and Angela Stewart has resulted in a painful earthly loss but a joyous heavenly gain

Through it all you embrace others sons and daughters as your own. By being a surrogate dad and mentor to them as they are stationed here by the Marine Corps and spending time with the little angels at Soaring Angels Learning Center

Through it all I thank Jesus for breathing life into you and preparing you for me

Happy birthday my love, happy birthday! Love you, me

 

April 16th, 2018 (Bryan’s birthday)

On April 16, 1991 in Twentynine Palms California our Heavenly Father honored our family with Bryan Stewart.

On this day we trusted him to breath life into his small body when he couldn’t breath on his own.

On this day we stood in faith over his incubator and dedicated Bryan’s life here on this earth to Jesus. Even if it was for a few hours.

On this day we celebrate that those hours turned into more seconds, more minutes, more hours, days, weeks, months and eventually 26 years we had Bryan.

On this day I stand on the word of God in Job 14:5 You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer.

On this day as my heart aches because Bryan is not with us to eat blueberry muffins and bacon on his birthday.

On this day my heart also rejoice because Bryan is celebrating his 27th birthday with Jesus. A celebration like nothing he could of had here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my love! 

Celebrate for a life well lived

 

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Second post

Today is Bryan Stewart birthday and we felt as though we got the gift. His marker wasn’t due to be delivered until May.

The Bible represents the word he stood on.

The cross represents his faith and belief in Jesus.

The 2 hearts represent his love for Larrielle and her love for him. 

The inscription represents his impact he left on his family, friends and strangers

(INSERT PHOTO OF MARKER)

 

May 18th, 2018 (Bryan’s transition from life to life)

The last days

2017

May 14 was the last day I received a Facebook message from you

May 14 Mother’s Day was the last holiday and meal we shared together 

May 15 was the last email I received 

May 17 was the last text I got

May 18, was the last day of my life as I knew it

May 18, my life was forever changed

The first year 

2018

May came around again and here I am 1 year later and there are no more last days or last times. We are now at our new beginning. 

This first year has taught me the true meaning of “Life can change in the blink of an eye.”

I will move forward from every May to May knowing that I will one day see you again my son. 

The greatest part about moving forward is that I am 1 year closer to that realization. But you have to wait, because God is not finished with me yet here on this earth. 

Oscar Stewart lost his best friend. So he needs me and I need him.

Jennifer Stephens and Angela Stewart lost a brother that was caring, loving and giving to them. They need me and I need them.

Daniel and Dillon had a few years to experience your love for them as their uncle. We will make sure they know you. So they need me and I need them.

Bryan Stewart I miss you tremendously. I love you dearly. 

Happy 1st year anniversary with our Lord and Savior. 

I will live my life my son that ensures I see you again. 

- Mom

July 25th, 2018

I still cry sometimes and I cried yesterday. There are days when I second guess myself, there are days when I say if we had made this decision would that be different. There are days when I just wonder.

But everyday I talk with my Heavenly Father and yesterday the talk was about clarity.

In the memorial video that was made about Bryan Stewart he said that he was rich because his parents were rich. I knew he was talking about something greater than money. He was talking about the love and support we have as a family. He was talking about the advice, wisdom and knowledge we share. He was talking about his father Oscar Stewart, his sisters Jennifer Stephens and Angela Stewart. He was talking about his family. 

Yesterday was my day in need of richness.

Today is a new day and my Heavenly Father woke me before the tv timed out and went off. There was a word he needed me to hear for clarity.

I cried yesterday! I am at peace today! I thank him for loving me.

 

August 19th, 2018

Feeling Some kinda way 

Over the last couple days I had been feeling some kinda way when I thought about Bryan Stewart but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Today FB showed me a memory from one year ago when Oscar Stewart and I shared a birthday meal with Larri Smith. That same some kinda feeling came back to me as I looked at the picture.

Tomorrow You will be celebrating your birthday and I pray one day we can share a meal together again.

Happy Birthday Larrielle I pray your day is blessed and filled with family and friends. 

I pray that you know that you will always have a place of love in my heart.

I love you! But Jesus loves you more!

 

August 26th, 2018

This is from my study of Glam and Glory a daily devotional for men and women by Pastor Cathy Schaefer Cilluffo.

Psalms 119: 87-88

They almost made an end of me on earth, But I did not forsake Your precepts. Revive me according to Your lovingkindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.

Regardless of what comes and goes in life, we do not want to forsake the Lord, it is never the answer or right thing to do! We never want to abandon Jesus and quit living the life of faith. It is God and His great love that we need to revive us!

People face many tragic situations in this life, but it is important to not allow those things to shape and mold our faith in God’s Word. The Word of God is unchangeable. Just because we don’t understand why something may have happened, gives us no right to base God’s Word on man’s experiences. This is living in error.

Unfortunately, this happens all the time. Tragedy or hardship may strike and people start changing the way they believe. They will say things like, “I know the Bible says such and such, but this happened, so the Bible must mean something other than what it says.” I understand that this makes the unfortunate situation more bearable to deal with if we think God did it or is behind it, but this is not based upon truth.

If we really want to live free, basing our life on truth, is the only way. A life based upon changing the Word of God to fit into man’s experiences only brings deception and ultimately despair and hopelessness. We want to stay away and clear of this danger zone!

 

Romans 3:4 

……. Let God be true but every man a liar.....

God’s Word never changes and though we or someone we love dearly may face challenges or great loss, we cannot allow this to change our belief system or our faith in the Word of God. If we are going to believe anything, we want to believe God. We may not understand everything that happens, but we cannot allow circumstances to shipwreck us and get us to see our Loving, Heavenly Father through their lenses.

We don’t want to be deceived and turn from God in the day of trouble. We need God to revive us!

In Christ,

This is good word. We needed God before, during and after Bryan Stewart went home to be with him. Jesus loves us!

 

 

OCTOBER 29th, 2018 

Susie Stewart shared a memory from October 9th 2017

October 9 · 

 

My memory from 1 year ago. Yes I cried. I love and miss my Bryan Stewart. I will tell you all about it when I see you again (My tribute video ‘I’ll see you again”

 

November 10th, 2018

Romans 7:2 By law a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.

Till death do us part: God is the third person in a marriage and is the only one that can undo it through death.

In 28 years of a marriage a lot can happen both good and bad that can strengthen or weaken a marriage.

But when a marriage is rooted in the fundamentals of Gods word and his laws it goes the distance of “till death do us part”

Today marks 28 years of marriage for Oscar Stewart and I. In that time we have raised 3 beautifully blessed children Jennifer Stephens, Bryan Stewart and Angela Stewart. We made it through a successful Marine Corps career, saw the birth of a promise from God with the opening of Soaring Angels Learning Center. We were blessed with an awesome son (in law) Donald Stephens and 3 wonderful grandsons Donald Jr, Daniel and our fire cracker Dillon. In all those years the blessings have been to numerous to count.

In 28 years there has also been hurt, disappointment, turmoil, turbulence and what some would call a tragedy with our son Bryan leaving us here on this earth. Oscar and I call it living a life together that was never promised to never have obstacles. 
It’s called “Till death do us part”

Thank you Oscar for 28 exciting years. Thank you for loving me. I love you more today than I did yesterday.
Happy 28th Anniversary

 

 

 

 

ANGELA’S POSTS ON FB

June 1st, 2017

One of my favorite things about Bryan was his sense of humor. Every Saturday, he'd turn on SNL from wherever he was, and I'd turn it on wherever I was, and we'd text each other our favorite jokes. We watched the last Correspondents' Dinner together and laughed the whole time. He was always recommending stand up specials for me to watch and sending me tweets he found funny. This wonderful video from Lonely Eskimo Productions (Bryan loved working with them by the way) shows Bryan's goofy, joyous side. I can't believe it's been two weeks without you Bo. You'll forever be missed.

 

LEP TRIBUTE VIDEO

 

JUNE 18th, 2017

Today is one month since Bryan passed away and this month has shown me a lot about my family, especially my dad. He's been nothing but strength and love for this family. He'll never know how much that means to me, and how much that meant to Bryan. Happy Father's Day to the best dad!

 

June 30th, 2017

In memory of Bryan, I'm learning to use his camera. Here are a few photos from my week so far in China. I'll never be as good as the Maestro (as my dad calls him), but I hope I can show everyone the world through his lens.

 

July 18th, 2017

It's been two months since my brother passed away and I'm missing him everyday. One of my favorite things about him is that when I wanted to do something, the answer was always yes. We went to concerts, football and basketball games, countless new restaurants, and even Wrestlemania together. Today I'm thankful for the 24 years I got to spend exploring the world with him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MAINTAINING THE LEGACY

 

-       How can you help?  OK as I start to wrap up this story, my goal is

to maintain Bryan's legacy as an individual. OK, here's a couple things that

we are doing. Of course publishing this book is something that I think will

help carry on his legacy. It's funny when I would go off on tirades about

oh, just about anything Bryan would always say hey dad you need to write a

book. Well here it is here's the book, and what more meaningful of the story

can I tell them the story of my son. 

 

 

We're working on establishing a scholarship in Bryan's name to the LSU. By

the time this book is published we should have awarded at least the first

year. The scholarship is going to be associated to film studies and then

individual dad received it shut him body Bryan's passion for media. At the

time of putting this together we have met with LSU and are establishing the

particulars of the scholarship.  More to come via various venues.

 

 

 

I say that I have no regrets but the truth is I do have a few…

 

 

-       I wish more than anything that I could have been with him in his

last few minutes.  I’d give anything to have that time with him. It hurts me

to think that he went through any significant pain in his last minutes of

his life. I think about that time in the hospital over and over and over

again and I pray that his transition from this life to eternity was not

painful.

 

Not timed to regret but ‘what if?’ I heard someone say that if they had any superpower, it would be time travel.  I agree, if I had the ability to time travel, I’d time travel my own life, back to Bryan’s birth. I’d not go back with the goal of changing anything, just to relive the time with him.  

 

 

-       I wish that he could have become a father, that way, he would know

just how much I loved him.  I told Bryan often how much I loved him because

I really wanted him to know that. I think that in our society dad's don't

communicate their love, therefore the love of God to their children and to

their family like they should.  There are of course various love languages,

and various ways to communicate. I chose to communicate mine with Bryan by

simply telling him, hey man I love you. Of course I would demonstrate that

as well in our conversations and in our interactions. 

 

 

I know that Bryan knows that I love him but if he would've become a father

he would've had so much more of an appreciation of how her father loves his

child. 

 

 

Our last communication was via text.  I was watching a UFC fight on the

evening of May 17 it was a classic fight, Conor McGregor was pummeling one

of his many victims (ok, I’m a bandwagon McGregor fan).  I meant to text Bryan and

tell him to go to YouTube and find that particular fight.  I recall falling

asleep and not and not sending the text that evening. I woke up the next

morning and I thought about Bryan and Larrielle when I woke up. I sent him a

one liner, simply saying hey, I'm thinking about you. 

 

PHOTO OF TEXT 

 

 

The good news is in Bryan's last few hours, he knew that I was thinking

about him. Well, I'm here to say I'll be thinking about you, big guy for the

rest of my life. I love you more than I can describe and perhaps more than

you'll ever know. Bryan, I love you

 

 

So… what is God saying, what is my and our testimony? 

 

I can say with assurance that Bryan honored his Creator.  Ecclesiastes 12:1

(Amp) says: Remember [thoughtfully] also your Creator in the days of your

youth [for you are not your own, but His], before the evil days come or the

years draw near.

 

At this point, not to be anticlimactic but to be frank, I don’t know... I

don’t know what the end of the story is.  I want more than anything to ask

and have the question answered; Why?  Why so young? Why now? What are You

saying God?  

 

I don’t have the answer now, and don’t know if I ever will but I, we’ve have

to press forward, continue to march and continue to work.  There is much to

be done, to honor God by honoring Bryan and to honor Bryan by honoring my

family and to preserve the legacy and work that my son has started in the

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